Lupin's Lament
by solochan2014
Summary: Lyall and Teddy talk about his father, boggarts and bravery.


Every year for the summer holidays Teddy Lupin longed for the week that he got to spend time with his grandfather. This was for mainly three reasons, the first one was because it was just him and his grandfather, an old man who was young at heart who let him stay up late and do things that his Gran would never let him do. Reason number two: Lyall lived in a completely different part of the country and for Teddy, who always felt he was bored of the countryside, enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the muggle town that Lyall had stowed away too and their accents which seemed completely surreal.

Finally there was reason number three: Teddy loved going out in Lyall's muggle car with him into town. He liked the smell of petrol and the way that he felt secure in this piece of metal junk that Lyall had tinkered with. He found he also loved getting his hands dirty in his grandfathers shed where he was allowed to play with the car's engine and every time he visited he learnt something new.

Today was no different, that morning they had already gone out into town in the little car and Teddy was fiddling about with the wires of the car engine that was parked in the garage/shed that Lyall had made.

"Why would a wizard spend so much time surrounded by muggle things? I mean, they're cool but…you know you have magic and all…why bother?" Teddy asked, he was twelve and had already had his first year at Hogwarts and thus his first summer with his grandfather where he had Hogwarts stories to share; It had caused a real simpatico that Lyall could share with his grandson as an ex student himself 60 years ago. Teddy had ended up in Ravenclaw and despite his original concerns that he had about not being smart enough to be there, he found himself fitting in with everyone swimmingly.

"I learnt a lot about muggle things, much like your Uncle Arthur." The elder man said was still having to search for names of people he'd met. He was starting now to learn the names of people that Teddy knew as family in his young life, of course there was Auntie Molly and Uncle Arthur, Harry and Ginny and their little ones, and of course, Gran – Andromeda, his guardian and Dora's mother.

"Your grandmother was a muggle and she got me interested in it all, and your grandfather Ted too was a muggle, and of course your father was half born and it wasn't out of the ordinary to see Remus tinker in my shed the same way you always have."

Teddy bit his lip as his concentration turned to his grandfathers' words instead of the engine; as he turned back to his grandfather he seemed suddenly very concentrated on his thoughts, as though tuning in a radio to the correct station. Lyall knew that Remus's name was very rarely thrown about in conversation and that went double for the poor boys' mother. It wasn't a topic that wasn't discussed exactly but Andromeda had struggled to speak about her daughter so openly when Teddy had started asking about his parents and there were so few alive who knew his son the way his friends had at school.

Teddy put down the spanner he had been using on the toolkit and turned to lean against the side of the car. The toolkit itself shimmered with dust and caused the boy to cough.

"Dad liked playing in this shed? _My dad_?"

"Well," Lyall heavily sunk into a stool and he started to get comfortable. "Not this particular shed, but we always had somewhere he could go and be on his own…he was a bright boy your dad."

And he could see so much of that boy in his grandson. He only had to frown a certain way and Lyall was transported back in time to his son's own agitated face when he was confronted with a really difficult problem. Of course, he had only seen pictures of Dora – he had been intending to meet her after the battle of Hogwarts but it was not to be – and he saw a certain vitality and enthusiasm that Remus hadn't been able to convey that must have come from Dora. His son had on most occasions looked ill, fed up and tired even at his most happy, but that may have been his lycanthropy, not his actual nature. He guessed he would never know the difference.

Suddenly there was a rattling at the back of the shed and Teddy jumped back, away from the toolkit, the spanner dropping with a clatter. Lyall didn't jump and Teddy straightened himself, red behind the ears.

"What was that?" he yelped.

"Oh, it's just a boggart. He must have made the old toy chest his home last night. I thought I left the window open…"

To Lyall's surprise Teddy backed off even further, towards the exit close to the wall. There was a look in his eye that Lyall had never seen in the boy. Fear. He was genuinely scared of a Boggart.

"We had a look at Bogarts at school…" he said, "They apparently become your greatest fear…you have to use a charm to get them confused…or something"

Lyall nodded starting to smile a little wider than he should be, not when discussing a topic such as Boggarts. "That's right and you can use a charm to confuse them…by making yourself laugh…" Teddy's grandfather started to laugh himself, which made the chest shake again and Teddy's face grew anxious with misunderstanding.

"What's so funny?" Teddy said sternly "Fear isn't funny!"

"No, I just you…well Remus…your dad. He hated Boggarts too..."

Teddy's face turned again to the chest where the Boggart was still rumbling. "He did? But…didn't he teach Harry Bogarts at school? I thought…"

Lyall could see the cogs turning in his grandson's young mind. Forming the pieces of the puzzle together. Lyall calmly waited for the boy to turn back to him.

"What was dad's biggest fear? The werewolf?"

Lyall nodded, softly. "Your dad took it to heart that he couldn't be a normal wizard, must have been all the books he read…the books that his mother and I read. All they ever said were how horrible and dangerous he was and he had no role models who were werewolves to tell him he could live like everyone else if he wanted."

"But… but he was so good at Boggarts and he could take on dementors and dark wizards and…Harry told me, Harry told me he was the best teacher he ever had." Teddy reasoned, as though that his dad being bad at anything was like being told that his mother wasn't his mother.

A lump sat in Lyall's throat at the boy's words about Remus, so pleased at this strong image of his father that the boy had but sad that this discussion couldn't have just been had with the father himself. He hadn't meant for this when he laughed, he shook his head as he tried to explain.

"Teddy, all I was going to say was that he was scared of Bogarts, because when he saw a Bogart he saw the wolf…he was scared of himself…and that's a hard thing to suddenly not be afraid of. He told me years later…that the way he got round it for so long was he used the Riddikulous charm to become the moon instead, it was more positive way of looking at it."

"But the moon's not funny," Teddy said confused.

"But the moon is beautiful…and the Boggart doesn't understand beauty and love is stronger than fear." Lyall shrugged, "As long as the Riddikulous charm is used to bring forth another emotion than fear and despair, you're doing it right…I don't think he was ever able to force it to be a shape that made him laugh...your dad wasn't perfect Teddy…none of us are."

Teddy finally understood, he sat down on the ground by the step to the outer door, watching his grandfather with intense eyes.

"I am scared of Boggarts because I don't think I want to know what I fear…I was hoping that dad…well he was so brave…I didn't think he could be scared of Bogarts"

"Brave people can be scared of things all the time Ted, it's letting the fear take you over…not let you be yourself." Lyall watched his grandson worriedly, what had happened for the boy to react to Bogarts so badly? He wasn't sure he wanted to know right now, and maybe the boy wasn't ready to say. Perhaps he might get a chance to write a letter to Andromeda and see if he had mentioned it at home.

Teddy nodded, his eyes now downcast to his trainers that he scuffed in the mud. "Could…maybe one day over the summer…you show me how to fight the boggart…? Not today…just…whilst I'm here."

Lyall nodded, "Of course Teddy, I'll teach you, I promise. We'll show your Bogart a thing or too…eh?"

Teddy picked up the spanner again and he smiled at Lyall, and Lyall smiled back.

"You know…" he began, "When I asked Harry about you, Harry said that he hadn't know you were alive until after…I mean, Dad had never mentioned you."

Lyall stood, moving his stool as he spoke, to keep his heart from jumping into his throat. "Sometimes, people think that by keeping their distance everyone else is safer…your dad pushed a lot of people away because he was afraid of hurting them…" he turned round to Teddy. "I hope you take after your mother in that area Teddy, I hear she was rather the opposite."

Teddy smiled then, widely, his hair, which had been a very midnight blue black colour, splashed into a shining turquoise. One of Lyall's small requests during his visits was to stick his hair to a normal colour as to not raise suspicion with his muggle neighbours.

"Gran says she was amazing, and dad too."

_Anyone who could get my son to feel human is amazing in my book. I remember the pride of being married to her and having you, the emotion on his face, that will live with me until the day I die._

"She was. He was. You are too."

Teddy just smiled looking very distant now as if he was in his own world, "Do you think…we could also go see them? In the muggle car…I don't get to go much…Gran, she…doesn't like going but I like to go…I talk to them sometimes…."

All of those who had died during the battle of Hogwarts were buried in special graves in Hogsmeade, not far from Hogwarts itself. It would certainly be a long trip to take in a car but Lyall smiled.

"As long as you don't mind camping every so often, I can't do that journey as quickly as your Gran might."

Teddy nodded eagerly and Lyall realised that school must have been harder than the boy had let on, all those students who would know his name as the boy of parents who died in the war without anyone to really let him know that he was okay to talk about it.

"Maybe I can go talk to my son too, tell him how much trouble you get me into with the ladies in town."

Teddy pulled a face, his distance forgotten as he poked his grandfather hard in the shoulder, which lead to the pair poking each other until it became more than that, the laughing and the relief that lingered in their chuckles faded as Teddy finally threw himself into his grandfather's arms and nestled himself there for a long time.

"I love you granddad…"

Lyall had to fight tears. "I love you too Ted, now why don't you clean up…and I'll go get supper on."

Teddy didn't linger further, he jumped out of his grandfathers hold and dropping everything rushed out of the door and slowly Lyall got up and followed, going to the door of his shed, deciding to clean it later and closing the door behind him.

"Hurry up Granddad!"

And with that, just as Teddy tended to do, his call to Lyall whisked the old wizard into another time when he felt young enough to chase his son out of the garden and into the house for dinner with his small family.

"I'm coming kid, I'm coming."

***


End file.
